Can Empty Nest Syndrome Cause Divorce?

In this episode of Empty Nest Era, we dive deep into the emotional challenges couples face when their children leave home. Can empty nest syndrome lead to divorce? It’s a question that many empty nesters ask themselves as they navigate the emotional rollercoaster of this major life transition.

Join Jamie Chin, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), as she explores how the empty nest phase can impact marriages, uncovering the hidden stressors that can strain relationships. From rediscovering your partner to facing unexpected tensions, this episode offers valuable insights on how to prevent marital problems during this critical time.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How empty nest syndrome affects communication in relationships
• The common marital issues that arise when children leave the home
• Practical strategies to strengthen your marriage and rebuild your connection
• The importance of therapy for couples during life transitions

Whether you’re worried about the future of your marriage or just trying to reconnect with your partner, this episode will provide you with the tools and understanding you need to navigate this challenging but rewarding stage of life.

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📧 Contact Jamie at: emptynesteralife@gmail.com

💬 COMMENT below:  Has an empty nest affected your relationship with your partner, and if so, have you found anything that has actually helped get you back on track?

Disclaimer: This podcast is for education only and is not a replacement for therapy. I suggest you seek out the help of a trained professional for help with your specific situation if needed.

Transcript

[PODCAST TITLE] Can Empty Nest Syndrome Cause Divorce?

[INTRO] Welcome to the Empty Nest era, the podcast that helps you navigate life after the kids leave home. I'm Jamie Chin, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and mom to two amazing daughters in their twenties, and I'm here to walk alongside you as you rediscover yourself, reconnect with your partner, and redefine your relationship with your adult children. Let's begin this next chapter together. 

[EPISODE CONTENT]

Hi there, I’m Jamie and on today’s episode, we’ll be talking about if empty nest syndrome can cause divorce. Now, you might be thinking, Wait, isn’t this supposed to be the time when you and your partner get closer? And yes, for many, that’s the case. But for others, the empty nest phase can bring up unexpected challenges—especially in relationships. So, let’s break it down and see what’s really going on here.

Before we get into the relationship side of things, let’s quickly define what we’re talking about when we say 'empty nest syndrome.' It’s the emotional experience parents often go through when their children leave home to live independently. The house feels emptier, quieter… sometimes eerily so. And that can bring about feelings of loss, sadness, or even loneliness.

For some parents, these feelings pass quickly, but for others, it can stir up long-held emotions about their identity, purpose, and relationships.

So, exactly how does empty nest syndrome impact marriage?

Studies show that the empty nest phase can strain marriages in surprising ways. One of the most common shifts is that couples suddenly find themselves facing each other after years of focusing on the kids. And, surprise! You may have forgotten how to really talk to each other without your child’s school project or extracurricular activities taking center stage.

Empty nest syndrome can also bring out the best and worst in couples. On one hand, some people reconnect, rediscovering common interests and deepening their relationship. But on the flip side, the shift can also highlight previously hidden issues, leading to increased tension.

to a study by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 40% of couples report an increase in marital problems during the empty nest phase, often because they’ve neglected their relationship while focusing on their kids. The adjustment can feel like a crisis if there hasn’t been time to rekindle that pre-parenthood connection.

When kids leave the nest, the sudden freedom can either feel like a breath of fresh air or a void. Some couples feel liberated, but others feel lost. Maybe you’ve been so focused on raising your kids that you’ve forgotten how to connect as a couple.

Here are some common issues that might crop up:

One is rediscovering each other: You may feel like you’re living with a stranger.

Another can be empty house syndrome: The house feels quieter, and the sense of purpose that came from parenting is gone.

Finally, there might be financial stress: With kids out of the house, some couples find they have more disposable income, but others may be burdened with rising costs of healthcare or other expenses that create tension, like paying for college.

So, by this point, you’re thinking, okay, Jamie, great, yeah I know ALL about the problems because I’m listening to this episode. So, what can you actually do about them if we’re struggling as a couple? So glad you asked! I’m going to give you four things you can do to get through this transition time. As a sneak peek, here the topics.  We’re going to talk about open communication, rediscovering hobbies, focusing on the positive, and seeking therapy if needed. Let’s go!

One of the most important things you can do to strengthen your marriage during this phase: communicating openly. I know, I know—it sounds simple, but it’s so easy to forget when life gets busy or when both of you are processing this huge shift in different ways. Many couples struggle during the empty nest phase because they’ve been so wrapped up in their kids for so long that they don’t know how to talk to each other anymore without the common thread of parenting. And, let’s be real—sometimes, it’s easier to just avoid those tough conversations and pretend everything is fine. But that’s not going to help anyone, and it can lead to unnecessary tension.

Here’s the key: Be vulnerable with each other.

You both might be feeling things you haven’t shared with one another. Maybe your spouse is secretly struggling with the sense of loss that comes with the kids leaving, or maybe you’re feeling anxiety about the future or a bit of empty space where your family used to be. And if that’s the case, it’s crucial to let your partner in on those feelings. Being vulnerable and honest can help create a deeper connection and understanding between you both.

Think about this: If you’re both feeling uncertain or unsure about the next chapter, talking through those emotions will allow you to support each other in meaningful ways. So, make time for those heart-to-heart conversations, whether it’s during a quiet walk, over dinner, or just sitting down with a cup of coffee. Give each other space to be open without judgment. Sure, it’s awkward at first, but remember, vulnerability leads to growth—together.

Another thing to try is to rediscover hobbies together.

As you’re figuring out how to reconnect, don’t forget to rediscover the fun you once had together! Remember back to when it was just the two of you—before kids, before the carpool schedules, and the endless school events. This is a chance to reconnect on a deeper level and focus on activities you both enjoy.

Maybe you’ve forgotten how much fun it is to try new hobbies together or maybe you haven’t even made time for them. This is the perfect opportunity to explore activities that bring you joy and can help strengthen your bond. Whether it’s hiking, painting, learning to cook new recipes, or even binge-watching a new TV show (because hey, no one’s there to judge you for the third episode in a row), take the time to just enjoy each other’s company. It doesn’t have to be something elaborate—it just has to be something you both enjoy.  

My husband and I have personally contributed to the powerhouse that is now Netflix. And there’s no shame in our binging game. We love all kinds of movies and shows and it’s a cheap source of entertainment. 

Revisit what made your relationship spark in the first place, and who knows, maybe you’ll discover a new shared passion! 

Plus, you’re both going to need something to talk about other than the laundry or the bills, right?

Speaking of making the most of this phase, let’s talk about focusing on the positives. Yes, you might be feeling some sadness or a sense of loss with the kids leaving, but let’s also take a step back and acknowledge that this is a new chapter, a chapter with opportunities that weren’t there before.

You have more freedom now—freedom to plan spontaneous trips, go out without checking if the kids have their homework done, or take on a project you’ve always wanted to try but didn’t have the time for. The house might feel quieter, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s a chance for you both to enjoy the space and rediscover your rhythm as a couple.

In this phase, it’s easy to focus on what’s missing—the absence of your children. But I encourage you to shift your perspective and celebrate what’s coming next. This is the time to rediscover your relationship without the distraction of constantly managing everyone else’s schedule. Whether it’s trying new things or simply enjoying each other’s company without distractions, this can be a time of renewal and reinvention. Focus on the freedom you now have as a couple, rather than the emptiness that may feel overwhelming.

Take a moment to think about what you can do now—what positive changes you can make to embrace this new season of life. It’s about moving forward, not looking back.

Sometimes, though, even the best communication and attempts to make it work can’t fix everything. That’s when it might be time to consider seeking professional help. And let me just say this: therapy is not always a last resort—it’s a tool that can help you navigate life’s transitions. If you’re finding that the empty nest phase is putting a strain on your relationship, therapy can be incredibly helpful, even if things haven’t reached the breaking point. Did you know that the average couple will have a problem for at least six years before getting therapy?

Working with a licensed marriage and family therapist, or a couple’s therapist, can provide a neutral, supportive space where you both can voice your feelings and work through any challenges that have come up during this time. A therapist can help you address underlying issues that may not be immediately apparent but are affecting your connection. Maybe one partner is feeling overlooked or neglected, or maybe you’re both struggling to adjust to a new balance of power in the relationship.

Therapists also help couples build healthy communication skills and teach them techniques to better understand each other’s perspectives. It’s like having a coach for your marriage—a neutral third party who can guide you through the toughest parts of this transition.

And let’s be clear: therapy doesn’t mean there’s something ‘wrong’ with your relationship. It simply means you’re being proactive and committed to ensuring your relationship thrives, even in the face of big changes like the empty nest. So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or stuck, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist who specializes in family dynamics or life transitions. It’s an investment in your relationship that can pay off in ways you might not even expect.

Before we end today’s episode, remember that the empty nest phase doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship. Many couples thrive during this phase—reconnecting, rediscovering each other, and building new memories. If you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone, and there are resources out there to help. Take this time to learn more about your partner, grow together, and most importantly, laugh together. Because life is hard ya’ll…and having a supportive partner can make all the difference.

 [OUTRO] Thanks for joining me for this episode of The Empty Nest era. If today's conversation resonated with you, don't forget to follow, share, and leave a review. It helps other empty nesters find this supportive space. Until next time, take a deep breath. Trust your journey and remember. This is your time now.