Surviving the Holidays as a New Empty Nester

The holidays can feel bittersweet when your nest is newly empty. The house is quieter, traditions feel different, and the season that was once full of child-centered chaos may suddenly feel… a little too calm. 

In this episode of Empty Nest Era, we’ll talk about how to navigate the first holiday season without your kids living at home — and actually find ways to enjoy it. You’ll hear why this season can feel so emotionally heavy (yes, the research backs it up!), and I’ll share 8 practical tips to help you embrace connection, reimagine traditions, and even rediscover joy for yourself. 

We’ll talk about: 

• Why the first holiday season as an empty nester can feel so strange
• How to honor old traditions while letting them evolve
• Simple ways to connect with your adult kids — even if you’re apart
• Creating new rituals that are just for you
• Using humor and flexibility to ease the transition

Whether your child is off at college, starting their career, or simply no longer living at home, this episode will help you feel less alone and more hopeful as you head into the holidays.
 
Because surviving the holidays as an empty nester isn’t about recreating the past — it’s about embracing the present, quirks and all.
 
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📧 Contact Jamie at: emptynesteralife@gmail.com

💬 COMMENT below:  Are you looking at a different kind of holiday this year? If so, what are you doing that will be a change for your family?
 

Disclaimer: This podcast is for education only and is not a replacement for therapy. I suggest you seek out the help of a trained professional for help with your specific situation if needed.

Transcript

[PODCAST TITLE] Surviving the Holidays as a New Empty Nester

[INTRO] Welcome to the Empty Nest era, the podcast that helps you navigate life after the kids leave home. I'm Jamie Chin, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and mom to two amazing daughters in their twenties, and I'm here to walk alongside you as you rediscover yourself, reconnect with your partner, and redefine your relationship with your adult children. Let's begin this next chapter together. 

🎧 INTRO MUSIC FADES
Ah, the holidays. For some people, they mean cozy lights, family traditions, and hot cocoa by the fire. For others, they mean fighting with tangled Christmas lights, wondering how many pies are “too many,” and trying not to throttle the relative who keeps asking you if you’ve basted the turkey.

But this year, for the first time, you might be staring down the holidays with an empty nest. The kids aren’t living at home anymore. Maybe they’re off at college, maybe they just got their first apartment, maybe they’re starting their adult lives and you’re still wrapping your head around the fact that your grocery bill has been cut in half. Either way, the house feels different. Quieter.

And when you add the pressure of holiday expectations — traditions, gatherings, family photos — it can hit a little differently when the kids aren’t under your roof the way they used to be.

So today, let’s talk about how to survive the holidays as a brand-new empty nester. Not just survive, really — but find ways to actually enjoy this new season.

Why It Feels So Hard – A Little Research
Let’s start with the “why.” Why do the holidays sometimes feel extra heavy the first year your nest is empty?

Research from the American Psychological Association found that about 38% of people say their stress increases during the holidays, and only about 8% say they feel less stressed. Add in the shift of no longer having kids at home, and it can amplify that sense of loss, loneliness, or “holiday pressure.”

Another study in the Journal of Family Psychology showed that parents often experience the first holiday season without kids at home as a “milestone of loss.” It’s not necessarily grief in the traditional sense, but it can feel like a chapter has closed — and the holiday traditions that once centered around children now need to be reimagined.

So if you’ve been wondering, “Why do I feel off this year?” — you’re not alone. It’s real, and it’s normal. Here’s a few tips to deal with it.

Tip #1: Give Yourself Permission to Feel Weird About It
First things first: it’s okay if this holiday feels different. Because it is different. And pretending otherwise can make it harder.

Think of it like adjusting a recipe. If you always made stuffing for 12 people, and now you’re making it for 4, of course it feels odd. You’re not doing anything wrong. It’s just a new version.

One mom I spoke to said the first Thanksgiving without her daughter at home, she set a place at the table out of habit, then burst into tears when she realized her daughter was away at college. By the second year, she’d adjusted. But that first year? She gave herself permission to cry over the cranberry sauce.

So yes — if you need to cry, do it. If you need to laugh at how quiet your house is, do that too.

Tip #2: Keep Traditions — But Loosen the Grip
Traditions are powerful. They’re like anchors in the chaos of life. But here’s the thing: sometimes we treat traditions like they’re written into the Constitution. And that’s where the pressure builds.

Instead, pick one or two traditions that really matter — maybe decorating cookies together, maybe watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” — and let the others shift. You might even find your grown kids enjoy creating new traditions with you.

For example, instead of the full-blown 12-hour cooking marathon, maybe you all cook one meal together when they visit. Or if you can’t be together in person, schedule a video call where you each make the same holiday cocktail and toast across the miles.

It doesn’t have to look like it always did to still feel meaningful.

Tip #3: Focus on Connection, Not Perfection
Here’s a stat I love: A 2019 survey by OnePoll found that 88% of Americans say the holidays are the most stressful time of year — and a big chunk of that stress comes from trying to make everything perfect.

But here’s the truth — your kids probably won’t remember whether the tree was symmetrical or the turkey was Instagram-worthy. They’ll remember how they felt. Did they feel welcomed, loved, connected? That’s the stuff that sticks.

So instead of obsessing over the centerpiece, maybe put your energy into asking your son about his new roommate or listening to your daughter talk about her internship. That’s the memory they’ll carry.

Tip #4: Create Space for Yourself
Here’s the part a lot of parents forget: the holidays don’t just belong to your kids. They belong to you, too.

Maybe for years you’ve been so focused on making the holidays magical for your children that you forgot you actually have preferences. Do you like quiet mornings with coffee and holiday music? Do you love cheesy Hallmark movies? Do you secretly hate stringing lights and would rather hire someone else to do it?

This is your season to reclaim some of the holiday for yourself.

One empty nester told me that once her kids were out of the house, she started a new ritual of taking herself to a holiday matinee at the movie theater — popcorn, soda, the works. She said it felt indulgent and fun, and it became her thing.

So, as yourself, what could become yours?

Tip #5: Get Creative with Time Together
One challenge for new empty nesters is scheduling. College kids or twenty-somethings may not be able to come home for a whole week. They might have work schedules, partners, or limited funds for travel.

Instead of focusing on the exact date, focus on the quality of time. Maybe you celebrate “Christmas Eve” on December 27th. Or maybe you send a holiday package ahead and then FaceTime while they open it.

Flexibility is key. And research backs this up — families that adapt their traditions to changing life stages report higher satisfaction and less conflict during the holidays.

Tip #6: Expand Your Circle
The holidays don’t have to be only about family under your roof. This can be a great time to reach out to friends, neighbors, or even volunteer.

A study in BMC Public Health showed that volunteering is linked to higher well-being and lower feelings of loneliness, especially in midlife adults. So if your house feels too quiet, maybe sign up to help at a local food bank or invite a friend over for cocoa.

It not only fills your cup, it models for your kids what it looks like to live generously and fully, even in new seasons of life.

Tip #7: Lighten the Mood with Humor
Sometimes the best survival strategy is laughter. When you find yourself missing the chaos of wrapping paper explosions in the living room, try to remember the flip side: no more stepping on Legos in the middle of the night. No more wrestling with toy assembly instructions that require a PhD in engineering.

Embrace the absurdities. Maybe send your kids a funny holiday meme every morning in December. Or share embarrassing family holiday photos in a group chat. Humor keeps connection alive.

Tip #8: Remember, This Is a Season
Finally, remember that the “firsts” are always the hardest. First holiday without the kids at home, first Christmas morning without stockings being ripped open at 6 a.m. — those moments are tough.

But over time, you’ll build new rhythms. Some years your kids will come home, some years they won’t. Some years you’ll have a house full of people again when they bring partners or even grandchildren.

The nest may be empty now, but it won’t always feel this way. The holidays are evolving, not ending.

Closing Thoughts
So if you’re heading into this holiday season with an empty nest for the first time, take a deep breath. Yes, it’s different. Yes, it may feel bittersweet. But it’s also an opportunity — to rediscover yourself, to reshape traditions, and to focus on connection in new ways.

Surviving the holidays as an empty nester isn’t about recreating the past. It’s about embracing the present — with all its quirks, challenges, and yes, even joys. And honestly? That sounds like a holiday worth celebrating.

I’m wishing you and yours a beautiful holiday season and a peaceful new year!

[OUTRO] Thanks for joining me for this episode of The Empty Nest era. If today's conversation resonated with you, don't forget to follow, share, and leave a review. It helps other empty nesters find this supportive space. Until next time, take a deep breath. Trust your journey and remember. This is your time now.

[DISCLAIMER] Finally, I want to note that this podcast is for education only and is not a replacement for therapy. I suggest you seek out the help of a trained professional for help with your specific situation if needed. Thank you.